Its been almost two weeks since I got my booster vaccination and till today, this question have been on my mind, with no answers. I feel like a brick hit my head and the pain had stayed there with no cure.
I would like to firstly thank each and every one of you who had reached out to me during this difficult period and had given me words of encouragement and support, prayed for me and my family. From the bottom of my heart, I really feel loved and thankful.
The main reason why I was actively updating my IG stories on Instagram @letsaskmama was because I am worried that I will have no recollection of what happened or is currently happening. Truth be told, I still have pockets of memory missing and I have no idea how or what happened. In fact, the video I did once I was pushed into recovery, I had 0 memory of doing that till today. But I'm glad I did it cause I learned that I had 4 seizures.
I had conversations with Le Cha, sister in law and my parents that I have no recollection of. I don't remember Le Cha coming to the hospital, the food I had while waiting for the ward, nothing, but thanks to me posting it on IG, I have some recollection. I guess my instincts just kicked in to record whatever's happening for my own good.
So here's what happened based on whatever that I remembered and recollected. I would like to emphasize that I am Pro Vaccination and like a good citizen, I went to get all my shots as needed and followed through the processes with no complains. I am writing to just keep in memory what had actually happened cause it seems like I'm currently losing it.
4th February 2022
I went for my vaccination at 930am. It was as per normal uneventful.
1st dose - Pfizer ( No side effects, just heavy arm and slight lethargy)
2nd dose - Pfizer ( Feverish, lethargy, heavy arm, I needed a day or two to fully get back on my feet)
3rd dose - Pfizer.. (Hereeee we gooo..)
I reached home around 10ish, I could barely open my eyes. I quickly settled whatever was needed for the children, and slept all the way till evening. I didn't wake up for meals, prayers, felts super heavy and feverish. My eyes was droopy, all I wanted was to remain in bed. I woke up after Maghrib, got some laundry done, settled the kids dinner and clear the house a little bit all while still feeling very feverish and hot inside. I had a slight temperature. I was shivering a little.
5th February 2022
The injection site had swelled up so bad I couldn't even touch my upper arm. The old BCG site had popped up looking like big flowers on my arm. I couldn't raise it proper. I still felt feverish but continued doing my household chores like cooking and laundry and school duties. They only advised no exercising or hard work mah.. Household chores still can do what.. (roll eyes to heaven)... I was downing Panadol at that time to help with my symptoms. Seems like no effect. I had started to develop a headache.
6th and 7th February 2022
The headache started to get more intense. Each time I was doing a chore or speaking to the kids, I will get breathless. My chest starts to hurt. I feel slight palpitations. For example when I carry the laundry basket filled with wet clothes, I had to put it down several times to catch my breath before walking a few more steps. It was getting tiresome to do anything.
While cooking, I will feel so breathless I had to stop, off the flame, sit for awhile to calm myself, and then proceed. I felt like I wasn't getting any better but I thought it should resolved on its own since a lot of people had DMed prior to me going for the booster vaccination.
There were stories on not being able to function proper, fever, extreme lethargy and many more. I thought it wont happen to me or maybe not so bad as my 1st two was quite manageable.
8th February 2022
Went to bed as per normal prior to that, I already felt terrible from day 1 of the vaccination. So I was tossing and turning trying to catch some sleep. Almost impossible cause I felt like I couldn't catch my breath at all. I was panting and almost hyperventilating. I tried sitting up, propping my head up and elevate my body but nothing helped. Just before bed I had taken 2 Panadol Extra and tried to rest.
About 1 hour of that, I suddenly felt intense pain around my chest and I quickly woke Le Cha up. I had heart palpitations and immense nausea. I wanted to vomit. Next thing I knew I had fainted, and Le Cha was saying he gonna call the ambulance.
(The next following accounts are what I learned from Le Cha, snippets from the paramedic, doctors and whatever I remember for myself. I do not have full memory of it all.)
Paramedics came and while checking my vitals, I fainted again. So they decided to convey me asap. On route, I was still hyperventilating and feeling the immense chest pain. I also remembered feeling like I was gonna black out. It is similar to the feeling when you stand under the hot sun for a long time, then everything turns dark and you just collapse. Its almost exactly that. Next thing I heard, paramedic screaming 'Seizure! Seizure!'. I was totally weakened and blacked out. No idea I had arrived at the hos and docs was rushing around me. I suddenly had a fever spike of 38 degree ish.
When I came around, the docs told me I had gone through 2 seizures. 1 in the ambulance and another in the emergency room. I was slowly gaining my senses and was looking around the room. They were asking me where is Le Cha and if I knew I had seizures.. They passed me my phone seeing I was stable to contact Le Cha. At that time, they had pushed diazepam into my system. I took this pic and updated Le Cha, I think I'm fine.
I was updating him, my sister in law, immediate family and friends. I knew Le Cha was gonna have a tough time managing the kiddos suddenly with me in the hospital I was trying to gather a support team. I thought whatever I was typing makes perfect sense. But these was what I typed. Here are some examples...
And then next thing I know bhaaammm... Another seizure.. I remember dropping my phone.. Blacked out again.. No memory what happened.. Prior to it, I already felt discomfort and the same blackout sensation.. The initial pain was intense, I was so scared to the point I was telling God if this is the way he wants to take me, just take me, I am willing to go, just to end the immense head pain. And I had soiled myself. I pee during the seizure. No memory of that. When I came about, I do not remember anything . Zero memory all the way till I reach my ward and wanted to go to sleep.
That was a good few hours of 0 memory. What happened during that timing was that I did my video which is up on my Instagram @letsaskamama, Le Cha came to visit me and we spoke for a long while, I had a meal which I didn't remember eating, I took some pictures which I don't remember. I had requested for him to bring for me some sweet drinks cause I was feeling nauseated and some bread. Till today, 0 memory of all that.
I regained some memory from this pic onwards when the nurses told me to get some rest and settled me into the ward.
The days after that was all a blur. I do not remember which date I did what. So here is a summary of what happened.
I was told that I did a CT Brain scan at the emergency and that it had shown some grey matter issues. So I need to get an MRI done next. They also took chest x rays later in the days. No memory of me going for x rays or CT scan. None at all. Doc also said I needed to get some brain wave scans to see if all's ok. That I remember going for.
So while they were fixing the wires, I remembered blacking out again. And when I came to my senses, I remember the doc saying I was out for a bout a minute. All of my seizures and black outs last on average about a minute plus. After that they proceeded to fix the wires on me. Fearing that I would forget the procedure, I requested for a picture of it.
That white substance got everywhere and it was irritatingly sticky. The doc accidentally dropped some on my eyes and it was hard to remove. Excuse my sickly face I had to crop the pic.
Once that was done, nothing eventful happened. The next day they sent me for MRI. That was when I had my fourth seizure in the MRI machine. The doctor had to pull me out and once again I regained consciousness after about a minute plus. So they had to cancel the MRI and re do the next day. Thank god it went uneventfully and we got the MRI results.
So many different doctors came and go. I had one who came telling me that its highly likely the vaccine that caused this, another said maybe a childhood trauma to the brain had caused this, another said that if I have another seizure I will go into a stroke. It was a lot of trial and error and guessing.
Why she said that was because the right side of my body, my hand, arm and leg was starting to weakened. I could not feel much sensation, I couldn't put any strength on it and I generally feel very very weak on my right side. Till today, my right side is not up to how it was.
Another Doctor I've spoken to told me that it will take at least 2 to 4 months for my body to purge out the vaccine and finally feel back to normal and for the side effects to subside. I cannot go on like this for that long!! An elderly, who had 90% similar side effects as me, passed on 9 days after the booster. I am considered younger and should be able to fight it. Only Allah knows how I am feeling about that right now. Sick with worry.
Both scans came back normal. No significant results to discuss. So they change their focus to my heart instead. I was sent to get an ECHO done.
The ECHO scan lasted for about 30minutes and as expected, results came back normal. EEG / ECG normal. Nothing to state why I had my seizures.
So they decide to take further blood tests. I had to stay an additional 1 more day. They wanted to check my hormones levels. So I agreed. Anything for me to find answers. So this is where I get very triggered.
Doctor said she will take my blood. To get a baseline. So 3 tubes was taken. After which she will push in medication. ( Don't remember what it was). Then wait 30 mins for another blood test and then another one in an hour time. The second time round was ok normal. The third time round, the nurse took my blood and threw away 1 tube into the bin right in front of me. So why did you take my blood then?
Results of that tests shows that I do have a lower than normal hormone level and that the medication did help to bring it back up. Reason being that it could help me with preventing black outs. Of course I felt a bit relief hearing that. Doctor specifically said that she will advise on the proper medications upon discharge.
I was only discharged with Panadol, Tramadol and Folic Acid. So where are the meds for the hormones? I stayed 1 additional night in for you to do these tests for me for nothing?
And then comes another heart related test they want to do on me. Holter Monitoring. By then, I knew I'm done with the hospital and I want to go home. It was already close to a week in there with no answers and tests after tests. I requested for it to be done outpatient and till now still zero news from them. Neuro appointment was suppose to be in 4months time but I'm only seeing him in November.
Check out my diagnosis. Shortest ever I've seen in my life. 1 word. Seizure. Due to??
The number of IV plug I had on my body made me feel like a switchboard. Its as if the more the merrier on both arms. At one point I had up to 3 on me.
Current State
I am now semi bed ridden. I can no longer do any of my normal activities without feeling breathless, heart palpitations or faint. My headache since the day it developed till the today have not subsided. I am happy that I do not have any more seizures. My hands are constantly shivering. I do not dare to leave the house alone to go to the shops or heck even drive anymore. I am not leaving the house without Le Cha. I am traumatized.
I feel trapped in my own body. I used to be someone that exercises almost every morning. I watch my food intake and do not indulge in coffee, tea or much junk. I cant lock the door and shower cause I worry if I feel faint since I'm standing long in the shower. I have lost my appetite.
I need answers for what had happened but sadly I have none.
Many of you wrote in telling me to apply for the Vaccine Injury Subsidy. Problem is I needed a memo from my attending doctor to fill up. Which she refuse to do citing lack of manpower or she got no time to get it filled up or she doesn't know how to. So without that memo I cannot proceed. I am trying to get MOH to help me go after them for the memo. Shall see if I succeed.
That's Le Cha arguing with the nurses because my discharge documentations were more or less rubbish. With no conclusions and missing memo for me to proceed with the submissions. Glad I got him standing by my side to get things sorted cause I was more or less done with the whole hospital episode and just need to move forward from this ordeal.
A quick search on the Vaccination Government Website will not discuss any severe medical side effects. I tried searching the whole site and it seems mostly encouraging and not discussing any severe medical effects we might see.
However, pamphlets from countries like Australia does warn that vaccines can cause seizures and closely described all the symptoms I had. So is it the vaccine that caused this? Take a look..
All of it, just nice 4 days after my booster vaccination. For now, I am gonna try my best to take it easy and continue fighting whatever that has happened to my body.
Just to type this post, I am literally lying down with the laptop on me and I try to get a few paragraphs in. After which, I will get immense headache, ill put laptop aside, rest and then proceed another few paragraphs. This is not how I envisioned blogging. I pray this is not how its gonna be like for long..
I spoke about my experience in Ok Lets Go with the bros and they did share some good insights. I just wanted to spread some awareness on these issues that doesn't seem to get out there. Its hidden. Nobody talks about possible severe side effects.
I still do not remember much and my cognitive memory is kinda weak now.
I told Le Cha, I felt like I had willingly go there to make my healthy self sick by going for the booster vaccination. :(
I regret getting my booster vaccination done. :(
Lotsa love,
Ana
PS: Please reach out to me if you have any recommendations on good doctors I can go and seek a second opinion please. Or if you have any suggestions or thoughts as to how I can better handle all these. DM me on Instagram @Letsaskmama or you can anonymously comment below. Appreciate it.
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